The Dark Side of Therapy
The Darkside of Therapy
“Go see a therapist,” they said. “You’ll feel better,” they said. Well, take it from a therapist (who has been in therapy), there’s more to the story…
If you think you’re going to go to a therapist, tell them your problems, get some quick answers that solve all your life problems, and walk out feeling better, you’re wrong. Here’s what actually happens in those “therapeutic safe spaces.”
You’re Going To Feel Like Crap!
You’re Going To Look Like Crap, Too!
It’s Like Being Back In School.
You’re Going to Get Called Out On Your Bullshit.
So, about the aforementioned homework that you didn’t do for three consecutive weeks because, well, life. “You didn’t do your homework because you didn’t have time? Let’s explore this further. Tell me again, how much time did you spend on social media this week. In what other ways is your poor time management causing problems in your life?” Grrr!
It Takes Time.
You Don’t Get Concrete Answers.
BUT, keep reading…
It’s not all bad. In fact, if you stick with it, therapy can be life-changing and, in some cases life-saving. The truth about therapy is that everyone’s experience is uniquely their own. It’s different for everyone.
Will you feel like crap? Possibly...at first. But you already do! That’s why you are considering therapy or are in therapy already. Discussing feelings and life-experiences can leave you feeling vulnerable, ashamed, raw. You might wake up the next morning with an emotional hangover. But therapy can help you better understand why you feel the way you feel and why you behave the way you do. And then the magic…how to make healthy, positive changes. You’ll learn healthy ways of coping with the crap that life throws your way. You’ll change your perspective of self and the world. In summary, the crappy feeling passes and you wind up feeling stronger, more capable, and confident.
Will you look like crap? Ok, maybe that’s dramatic. But you may cry and there’s nothing wrong with that. Crying can be cathartic. Crying can come from pain but also joy, relief, and closure.
Yes, there is sometimes homework (all important growth requires more than an hour per week of effort). You can’t expect to go running for an hour per week and then run a marathon. Without homework, without practicing and implementing skills outside of session, you won’t have long-term results. You need to practice your new skills, your new language, in order to become proficient.
Yes, there may be gentle confrontation but it’s not judgmental. It’s an effort to help you understand your own self-sabotaging behaviors.
How long will this take, you ask. Well, it’s not forever. I know, that’s not the answer you were seeking. It depends on so many variables. I can say, however, that my goal is never for my patients to need me forever.
Finally, why don’t we give direct answers. Well, I do sometimes but see above. I want you to learn how to problem solve and come up with answers on your own. Also, honestly, I don’t have all the answers, but I will work with you to find solutions.