Yet Another Blog Post about Gratitude (Read this One)
Yet Another Blog Post about Gratitude (Read this One)
It’s that time of year where every
other blog post is about gratitude. ‘Tis
the season, right? According to David Steindl-Rast, a Catholic Benedictine monk, scholar, and author, who has inspired generations with his inspirational messages about finding gratitude in every moment of life, "The root of joy is gratefulness." Well, who doesn't want joy? But how does one do about becoming more grateful?
The Stack of Blank Gratitude Journals
Most people have heard of a
gratitude journal. Oprah kept one daily
for a decade and recommended that we all follow suit. But if you can barely remember or find time
to brush your teeth before bedtime, you may find it hard to consistently keep a
gratitude journal. Don’t get me wrong,
it’s a great idea with many benefits. I have a collection of lovely journals
including several attractive ones with motivational quotes on the cover that I just
had to have. Unfortunately, none of those quotes were motivating enough to keep
me journaling beyond a couple of weeks.
Mornings Suck
I don’t like mornings. Well, I didn’t. This is relevant…stick with me. I would
begrudgingly drag myself out-of-bed after being startled awake by sounds
similar to that of a fire alarm because waking up to Enya just isn’t effective
for me. After completing my basic
hygiene routine, I’d leash up the dog and head out for his first walk of the
day. During this walk, I found myself
complaining (possibly out loud at times) about anything. “It’s so early.” “It’s so hot.” “Geez! It’s too cold.” “The dog is taking so
long to poop. Hurry up pup!” “Why did I
schedule my first patient so early?” “Why did I schedule myself to work today?
Lots of people are off on Mondays.” You get the idea.
My Alternative to The Gratitude Journal
Needless to say, mornings were
miserable. Or, more accurately, I made
mornings miserable for myself (and possibly for those around me for the first
few hours of my day as well). I made a decision, and I wasn’t sure what would
come of it, that starting on January 1, 2016, I would create a mental gratitude
list while walking Fido each morning.
The premise was to shift my mental focus from all that was wrong to that
which is good.
Let me be candid. I did not spring out of bed on the first
morning (ok, I still don’t spring out of bed and I’ve been doing this for years). I completed my usual hygiene
routine, headed out with my fur-kid, and assuredly started my mental gratitude
list while walking. “I’m grateful for my
life, my health and my house. I’m grateful for my family and friends. I’m
grateful for my dog, my job, the food in my fridge.” I blew through about 20
things that I am grateful for. Piece of
cake, I thought. I then realized that I was only about 6 feet from my front
door and, you guessed it, the dog hadn’t pooped yet. The negative thoughts quickly popped to the
surface of my consciousness. “This crap doesn’t work.” “It’s cold. Why is it cold in Florida?” But I redirected
myself back to my plan – create a mental gratitude list. Keep going. And I did. The longer the walk, the more
frequently I became distracted and the more difficult it was to find things to
be grateful for. I later learned that it
was at that very point…the point where I really had to think about the good in
my life…where the magic happened. I
started to reframe negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Instead of thinking, “Ugh, I am so busy
today,” I thought, “Wow! That’s great. Lots of people see the benefit of
therapy and I am grateful and humbled that they are working with me.” Instead of,
“I feel like crap today. My throat is so sore,” I thought, “I don’t feel great,
but I’m grateful that I feel well enough to take this walk and have lunch with
my friend.” While my new-found attitude
of gratitude didn’t change the fact that my throat hurt, it did change the way
that I feel about the situation.
The Magic
I don’t know exactly when it
happened, but it happened. My complaints
and negative thoughts became more easily reframed into positive thoughts. My mood improved as my thoughts improved. I
was doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on myself. By changing my thoughts, I changed my
feelings. And by changing my feelings in
the morning, my tone for the day was more positive and more calm.
Other Alternatives to The Gratitude Journal
So, if the gratitude journal and
walking gratitude walk aren’t for you, there are other options. When your alarm clock goes off, hit snooze.
Yep, you read right. But don’t go back
to sleep. Spend those minutes creating a
mental gratitude list. It’s a version of
my exercise but without the dog and the outdoors. Another option – create a gratitude photo
album. If you’re thinking circa 2005
scrap books, don’t panic. Consider
creating an album on your smart phone with photos that you take daily of things
that you are grateful for. Set a minimum
number and snap away. Review the album
when you’re feeling down or irritable. Another
option – digital gratitude! Tweet or post or text someone with a positive message
daily. Get creative and find what works
for you.
Your Brain on Gratitude
From a psychologist perspective,
the efficacy of gratitude practices lie in the ability to retrain the brain. By
intentionally thinking grateful thoughts, even and especially when you aren’t
feeling particularly positive, you have the power the change your emotions. So,
you shift from identifying good things to be grateful for to realizing that the
act of being grateful makes things good. I practice Cognitive Behavioral
Therapy (CBT) and the (very simplified) premise behind CBT, a scientifically
validated for of psychotherapy, is that by changing thoughts, you change
feelings. Gratitude exercises, over
time, have the ability to do just that.
We can become increasingly aware of the positive in our life and,
furthermore, we learn to reframe (a technique taught in CBT) our negative and
unhelpful thoughts into optimistic and productive thoughts.
Related Blogs
If you found this blog post
helpful, stay tuned for these upcoming blog posts by yours truly: The Dark Side of Therapy and I Don't Have Time for Therapy...And Other Reasons to Consider Online Therapy.
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